This was stunning. That final line—“she was warning herself”—hit me like a freight train. The blend of intimacy, sci-fi, and emotional stakes feels so grounded and raw, even with the temporal layers. Theo’s quiet sacrifice and Mira’s hesitant hope are such a powerful combo. You’ve built something really special here.
This was stunning. That final line—“she was warning herself”—hit me like a freight train. The blend of intimacy, sci-fi, and emotional stakes feels so grounded and raw, even with the temporal layers. Theo’s quiet sacrifice and Mira’s hesitant hope are such a powerful combo. You’ve built something really special here.
Thanks for this feedback! Thank you for reading. Two more sections and an epilogue I wrote today. Enjoy!
I want more!!!!!
As you wish.